I Wish I Could Do That

Many people I talk to who have not travelled for extended periods of time or lived abroad full time say the same 6 words to me: “I wish I could do that”. The thing is, a travel lifestyle has almost nothing to do with what we are capable of. (If you don’t believe me check my post on financing full time travel). This is a matter of decisions and sacrifices, as is any choice in life. It’s a simple matter of choosing which sacrifices we are willing to make.

Mark Manson has some great quotes on this topic. I recently read “The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck” in which he discusses a choice of problems in life. “Everything sucks some of the time” he says, and its all about choosing which problems you are willing to have, as a life without problems doesn’t exist. He says in the book “The point isn’t to get away from the shit. The point is to find the shit you enjoy dealing with”. In his blog post about finding your life purpose, he advises us to “find your favourite flavour of shit sandwich”. Aka: find the problems you don’t mind as much as others. The ones you can tolerate, or even find some pleasure in.

Travelling full time comes with its very own unique set of shit and problems. I know that it isn’t always portrayed this way, especially on social media. But you don’t post about the same boring commute you make each day to your 9-5 either, do you? Social media shines a bright a glossy light on our lives. It doesn’t depict the shit sandwich we have all chosen.

Some of the chosen shit sandwiches that come with a life of travel are things that the “I wish I could do that” people simply couldn’t tolerate. And that is completely fine. I couldn’t tolerate hours of business casual and cubicles every day. We all get to choose our shit sandwich. But it is a choice.

An example of the shit sandwiches we full time travellers gobble up include but are not limited to:
– living in third world standard accommodations
– not having access to food we want (or healthy options)
– having to carry everything you own on your back *stay tuned for my upcoming post on being grounded while travelling
– visa issues
– language barriers
– constant change and instability
– community that is constantly changing, relationships and friendships that are inconsistent or long distance
– not having a home
– uncertainty of finances and unstable income

These are just a few examples, but I view most of them as welcome and chosen challenges. Problems I chose so that I could grow from them. This act of choosing is empowering and very important. And I have a feeling the people who THINK they wish they had my life, simply feel a lack of choice over their own shit sandwich.

Mark Manson talks about this in his book too.

“The only difference between a problem being painful or powerful is a sense that we chose it, and we are responsible for it. If you are miserable in your current situation, chances are its because you feel some part of it is outside your control.”

My guess is that the people who “wish they could do this” have chosen a shit sandwich they don’t feel a complete sense of control over. Maybe their shit sandwich came with a lot of societal, family, and peer pressure to do the things they “should” do. A life that feels like a should therefore lacks the empowerment of choice over the necessary trails and tribulations. But there are always choices. Every choice comes with lots of challenges, but viewing them as a chosen program for personal growth is a powerful shift of perspective.

When I first started travelling there were a lot of challenges. While I told myself I was travelling to challange myself and to grow, a lot of the challenges I experienced were very unexpected ones. At first this really pissed me off. This wasn’t the growth I asked for! No, it was the growth I needed.

One of those unexpected challenges had to do with an unplanned visa run based on my employers misunderstanding of the expiry date. (You can read the full story here). I initially was very annoyed and stressed about a sudden trip to Malaysia. After I arrived and dropped off my documents, they told me to come back in three days to get my visa. As I stepped out onto the streets of Georgetown Penang, I quickly realized I had a three day adventure to enjoy in a new and foreign land. Oh wait… maybe this IS why I’m doing this. A three day adventure seemed like a pretty nice bureaucratic problem to have. It was a lot more exciting than standard bureaucratic chores back home. And suddenly I was having one of the best times of my year. All because I shifted my perspective and embraced the growth and adventure that came with my problem. I remembered that this was the shit sandwich I had chosen.

I recently spoke to a friend who had only just begun her travels about this topic. She was worried about having to make a visa run and I told her “look, a visa run is just a chance to go to another country and have an adventure for a few days. It’s a lot more exciting than standing in lines at government offices or waiting on hold like you have to do at home. It’s just the price of the life we chose.” I wanted to help her shift her view before she got herself all stressed about a visa run like I had the first time.

I am not writing this to encourage everyone to start travelling and leave their lives behind. I am not saying that everyone who “wishes they could do that” should go and do it. I am simply advocating that we all take a look at the choices we are making. Ask yourself if you are choosing a life with a shit sandwich you can swallow. And if you are, own it. Embrace your problems, after all, you chose them. Let the choice of your own particular flavour of shit sandwich empower you and fuel your growth.

As for me, after two full years of choosing the challenges listed above and many more, I feel I have gotten the most of what those challanges had to teach me. Travelling will always be a passion for me and it is not something I am giving up. But I am choosing a new set of challenges to help me expand and grow further. Taking what I’ve learned from my experience of full time travel with me.

You can always choose to change your situation and your lifestyle, swapping out one shit sandwich of problems for another. But be aware that the grass is not greener on the other side. It’s greener where you water it. Where you choose to admire and revel in the shitty aspects of your life and your choice. So why look at other people’s lives and say silly things like “I wish I could do that”? Instead, take a consious look in your own backyard. Choose what life you want to live and examine the problems that come with this choice. Ask yourself how you can take these problems on as chosen obstacles, and gateways to further growth. And find the adventure and joy in the problems you’re choosing. After all, it’s your life.

Financing a life of full time travel

Time for a little transparency and encouragement. I get questions all the time about how I finance my lifestyle of full time travel, and how I got started. I also get a lot of assumptions, some voiced and I’m sure many more that aren’t voiced. So I am here to clear up any doubts you may have that a lifestyle of travel a real and viable option to ANYONE, if you should chose it. Yes, anyone. Yes, you.

Firstly, I would like to clarify a few misconceptions. I do not wish to portray my lifestyle as some far off and unachievable fairy tale. It’s far from that, and Instagram and Facebook can portray a glossy version of any lifestyle, especially travel. My goal is to show that this is a lifestyle that can be had by absolutely anyone who is willing to follow the call of their heart and step out of fear and into the life of their dreams. Its time to dispel the myths and mystery that can make travel seem like a far off and distant dream for those still at home.

1. I am not born wealthy. I do not receive any financial help from my parents. I do not have a rich benefactor. I have funded my travels solely and independently by working for money.
2. I am not a digital nomad, paid for ads, or cultivating ANY passive income.
3. I did not have millions saved up when I started travelling. Far from it. I have never had a big figure salary. Before travelling, my jobs were working as a barista in Starbucks, waitressing, and working as a gardener. Not highly paid positions.
4. My lifestyle is not a full time holiday. I don’t consider this to be sustainable or even a fulfilling or rewarding option. Yes I travel full time, but I also work and volunteer. I schedule in “holidays” as part of my travels, but more on this later.
5. Travelling full time has its own set of risks and sacrifices. There are choices we get to make about what types of burdens we place on ourselves, and travelling full time has its own unique set of discomforts and costs.
6. I had all the things that people think are preventing them from travel. I had an apartment, a cat, a job, friends and family, and a whole life. But let me tell you a secret. These things aren’t what is really stopping you. These things are the convenient excuses we use to mask the real thing stopping us: fear. And yes I had that too. Still do, all the time. More on that later too.

So, if I’m not wealthy or some sort of digital nomad making passive income from Instagram (I still have no idea how that even works), how do I travel around the world full time? I would like to share with you the practicalities of my personal story. By sharing this, I hope to inspire you to see travel as a completely viable option should it be your dream to take an extended trip. I will start by saying that my story is just one, a personal experience. But it represents a wider range of other incredible and inspiring women I have met along the way who have similar stories to share, and there are aspects of my experience that can be applied as universal advice to anyone hoping to walk this path.

STEP OUT OF FEAR

The main thing holding us back from chasing any of our dreams, be they dreams of travel, career, life purpose, relationships, or just listening to the inner calling of our hearts, is fear.

“Fear kills more dreams than failure ever will.”

So if you are wondering how to make your dreams come true, the first and really only advice that matters is figuring out how to overcome fear. I had a lot of fear to face before I started this trip, and it took me two years of wanting to travel before I actually made it happen. I have also had to face my fears over and over throughout the two years I’ve bee on the road. There have been countless times I could have let fears control me and send me home. It’s not just about starting, but continuing to face the parts of yourself you’d rather not see.

Fears come in all shapes and sizes, but most of them are in some way related to stepping into the unknown. It could be fear of running out of money, not knowing where the next money will come from, not knowing the language, getting lost, physical safety and security, not making friends or being alone, not fitting in, etc. So how do you overcome fear and step into the life of your dreams?

I feel this topic deserves a whole post of its own, but the best advice I can give is to face your fear. When you feel fear come up, ask yourself what it is you are really afraid of. Sit with it. Just let the fear be there. Ask yourself what is the worst that could happen and write it down. Next write down what you would do if that actually happened. Now, make a list of all the reasons this won’t happen, such as “I am capable and prepared”. Find a healthy balance between preparing for the risk in the ways you can, and then recognizing that you trust yourself to handle the situation even if your fears do come true.

SAVE UP FIRST

This falls into the category of being prepared in the ways you can. When I was first leaving home, I was still wrapped up in a lot of fear, especially about money and supporting myself in a travel lifestyle. The balance I found to feel prepared and confident was to save up as much as I could, and make my first move abroad into a job I arrange in advance from home. While saving, I lived with my parents and I worked full time, and I spent almost no money. I didn’t save up a ton, as I was working as a gardener, but it was enough to buy my one way ticket, and to live on for a while if something had gone wrong with the job I was coming to. This helped me to not feel trapped or stuck in that job out of fear.

WORK AND VOLUNTEER

Working and volunteering are amazing ways to connect deeper with local culture, learn new skills, and learn about yourself. They also provide deeper connections with other travellers than you will find in hostels, and allow you to stay longer in one place and really connect with the people and environment. I have volunteered or worked in most of the places I have travelled to. You can find volunteer positions and work trades on websites like Workaway, Helpx, YogaTrade (for yoga teachers). I also worked as an English teacher in Thailand, a paid job which can be done in tons of counties and only requires you to be a native speaker and have a Bachelors degree plus a TEFL (I did my TEFL online through Groupon and paid 30$).

The options for work and volunteering are literally limitless, so get creative, figure out what your skills are and what you can offer, and start exploring!

LIVE CHEAP

You can increase your income, or you can decrease your costs. The outcome is the same. Again, volunteering is a great way to lower costs. You shouldn’t have to pay to volunteer. There are tons of places offering a full exchange of accommodation and food in exchange for work, so don’t sell yourself short. This means you are essentially living for free. You can also often offer side work through these exchanges to make a bit of extra cash for occasional meals out, adventures, and coffees. This could be making something and selling it (baked goods, jewellery, anything), it could be a service you offer like massage, hair wraps, tarot readings, etc. You can also think of something you can teach to others and offer a workshop if there is a space you can use. Again, ask yourself what your unique gifts and interests are and how you can put them to use.

Find money saving tricks. It could be cooking for yourself and doing a rotation with other travellers at your hostel taking turns making dinner. It could be taking local buses instead of flying. It could be offering exchanges for your skills (I have traded massages for dinners, surf lessons, and more). It could be buying second hand clothes. It could be doing a clothing swap to change up that wardrobe you are oh-so-tired of. Reuse things. Make your own products. Again the options are limitless here, so get creative and have fun!

I should also mention in this section that I have chosen to travel to countries where the cost of living is significantly lower than where I am from. This can be a big factor to consider when deciding where you want to go! Travelling to more expensive countries may just mean you need to have a paying job there. Places like New Zealand and Australia offer working holiday visas to young travellers which is a great option if these places are on your must-see list.

MY PHILOSOPHY ON HOLIDAYS

Unless you have endless money, you will not be able to take a year long holiday. I personally also found that after about a month or two of holidays, I felt really lost and unfulfilled. I was over saturated and no longer enjoying the beautiful places I was visiting. It felt hedonistic to drink beer every day and go see more waterfalls and party in more hostels. I stopped appreciating the beauty around me.

Although I am living my dreams full time, I am also working or volunteering while living in these beautiful locations. Sometimes my work is not so demanding and I have a lot of free time to explore and adventure, other times it can be all consuming. I also spend a lot of my free time working on myself, growing and evolving and learning new things. Amongst all this, its important for me to schedule time to simply enjoy the beautiful adventure of life! For this reason, I started to schedule what I call “vacations” into my travels.

What this means for me is taking a week or two to live like a tourist. Depending on whether I need rest or adventure, I chose a destination and treat myself to a week of full time pleasure. I change my outlook and shift my focus away from productivity and working on myself and my goals. I eat ice cream every day if I want to or I have happy hour cocktails. I do touristy outings I normally skip, I indulge in self care like massages, I sleep in, and I fill my days with fun and pleasure.

It’s important for me to recognize and distinguish my full time travelling lifestyle from the “vacations” I take. It keeps me balanced and feeling productive and focused when I am simply living, remembering that just because I live a life of travel does not mean its a full time holiday. It allows me to take much needed breaks for self care and self indulgence without going overboard and losing the magic.

TRUST YOURSELF, TRUST THE UNIVERSE

The most important ingredient to living a life that is extraordinary is to have trust. This comes back to releasing your fears, and once you have done all you can to prepare for potential mishaps, there is only one thing left to do. Trust yourself. Remember that you are strong and capable, that you have overcome difficulty before and inevitably there will be more unexpected challenges. Remind yourself of how you’ve handled those things in the past and that you can do it again.

I cannot count the amount of times that things have been uncertain for me, especially with finances. I had a choice between stepping into the unknown, or stepping back into what I knew (and what I knew I didn’t want). When faced with a decision like this, I always ask myself whether I am moving from a place of love or fear, because it always comes down to these two things. Fear will always have us step back into what we know. Love will always have us chase our deepest, most heartfelt callings. The thing is, when I listen to my heart and move from a place of love, trusting in myself to make things work, the universe always has my back. And every time I feel the fear of uncertainty creeping in, I remind myself of all the experiences that have proved to me that “when you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you achieve it” (The Alchemist).

A journey of self love

These days everyone is talking about self love, and its become a sort of spiritual fad. But there is something missing from the conversation of bath bombs and “treat yourself”. Self love is about building a relationship with yourself. And like any relationship, getting to know yourself is the first step. Spending time being with you and finding enjoyment in that time. Taking yourself out to dinner, or to the beach, or on a walk in nature. Sitting with yourself and seeing all the good and the bad and the ugly bits, and getting comfortable with them. Turning around and giving them kindness and compassion and understanding how you got to be that way. Self love is about being able to depend on yourself for the care you need. This is about taking care of your body, your mind and your heart. Learning the things that make you feel good and doing them, all the time. It’s not about bubble baths. It’s about getting enough sleep, enough water, enough nutritious food. It’s about getting enough time to decompress after a long day, and making the time for the things that make you smile. It’s about learning to enjoy doing them even without anyone’s company but yours, and having a splendid time. Its about recognizing and seeing you, without any judgements or attempts to change or fix what you see.

Self love is also about taking care of yourself in a deeper, and maybe more challenging way. It’s about putting less pressure on yourself to achieve or accomplish. It’s about giving yourself space to slow down when you need it. It’s about setting personal boundaries, and not giving all of yourself away to other people or situations. It’s about setting your limits about who and what you let into your temple, and how you let them in. It’s about saying no when something doesn’t feel right and not feeling guilty about it. It’s about recognizing when a relationship or situation has become toxic, energy sucking, or just isn’t serving you, and cutting it out of your life. It’s also about forgiving yourself for letting it in in the first place, for choosing wrong, or for not being the best to yourself. It’s about being kind and gentle to yourself, accepting all the good and the bad. It’s about all of this and so much more. And it’s not always fun and pretty. Like any relationship, it takes work.

My own journey with self love began when I visited an incredible mindfulness community in Northern Thailand, called New Life Foundation. Many deeply significant realizations and teachings came from this experience for me, but perhaps the most significant one was that I had a lot of work to do in the realm of self love. This was the theme of my second week in the community, and a topic that kept coming back to me through my conversations with fellow community members. It was abundantly clear that my self love was lacking, and that healing this was the root to addressing the other apparent issues I was experiencing in my life at the time.

It has now been 6 months since I began travelling solo. After spending most of my formative years in romantic relationships, somewhere along the way I had lost connection with the most important relationship I will ever have, the one with me. I don’t know when exactly it started, but I became someone who felt unsure of what to do with myself when left alone. I felt sort of empty without social plans to look forward to on weekends, and even felt like I deserved to have people around to keep me occupied. I guess this was linked to a running away from a deeper truth, which was that I didn’t love myself very much, or even know myself very well. Spending time with ME just didn’t seem to cut it.

It’s almost laughable for me to look back on this mindset, as I sit here alone on this empty beach, feeling relieved, relaxed, and joyful for the first time in a few days. I am so SO happy for this afternoon alone, after just a little too long without the space to just BE with me. Over the last 6 months, although I’ve encountered to many incredible souls (I love you ALL), and have experienced friendships, love, mentors, guides, teachers and students, and even travel companions, something has changed. In the freedom of going at it alone, I have had the incredible space to choose these relationships and social interactions, in between the time I’ve spent with me. And through all that space, and all that time, I have found a special kind of freedom. The freedom to be me in all my glory. The opportunity to create any experience I choose. The wonder and pure joy of simply being, and allowing myself to be just as I am. The belonging to myself so deeply, that a feeling of home is always inside me; a more powerful home than can ever be experienced from a place or another person.

There are a few wonderful side effects for such a feeling. The first is that being alone always feels like coming home. Spending time with all the beautiful souls I’ve met on the road is wonderful, but I always have me to come home to. I never feel lonely because I am not searching for anything or anyone to make me feel full. Being alone does not feel like a state of lack. Coming from this place of fullness has allowed me to give love to others so much more freely and abundantly, as I am not expecting, hoping, or wishing that it will be returned. I am no longer giving love in order to receive. I have also gained such a deeper knowing of myself, and how I can operate as my best self, with no one else’s plans or desires to consider. I have learned what I need to have a great day every day, and how to give it to myself. I’ve also learned that I don’t need to compromise. I’ve learned that love is not about forcing another person’s plans and dreams to match mine, but honouring and respecting the differences and sending love and joy for us each following our own unique path. I’ve learned not to be afraid that relationships might not work out, or might change, because I’ll always be ok with me.

Along the way, through all the blissful moments of solitude, something wonderful happened. I fell in love with me. And in the glow of that love, I know that the one thing I will always need is the one thing I can always count on: the time and space to enjoy life with myself. The freedom from all the outside world, and the pleasure of a coffee, a day at the beach, a dinner date, or just a beautiful view with my favourite person to spend time with.

The art of letting go

Last month marked a year since I left home to travel the world and discover myself. I have been reflecting a lot on the changes that I have experienced in the last year, in every area of my life. Over last two months, I have been alone for the first time in many years, and have embarked on some of the most transformative, challenging and intense experiences of my life. This period of time has marked a moment of clarity. The changes and growth that have been gradually evolving within me over the last year have exploded to pure metamorphosis in this last months.

Of all the evolutions that have occurred to my body, mind, and soul, there is one shift that stands out. The ability to let go of attachment to certainty, the known, plans and expectations. Many experiences of forced change of plans, unexpected circumstances, and the precarious nature of living on the road have made me more flexible and more accepting of uncertainty. However even with my newfound adaptability, I have still struggled to let go of my own plans and expectations for my future. I like to have a plan, and spend far too much time analyzing and playing out all the details of every potential possibility.

An attachment to plans and expectations, to certainty and stability is an easy way to create your own suffering. External situations, events, and people are always beyond our control, yet our plans and expectations almost always dependent on these external factors to some degree. This sets us up for disappointment and frustration. Although we have power over how we perceive and react to the reality we experience, we don’t always take responsibility for this choice to suffer. We often blame external factors for not complying with our rigidly imposed perspective of how things should be.

This is a two fold problem. On one hand, we are seeking control over that which we have no power over: our external environment, other people, situations and circumstances. We are fighting against the way things are in our world, and by refusing to accept reality as it is, we are struggling against the entire universe. On the other hand, we refuse to take responsibility for what we can control: our reactions, perceptions, thoughts and behaviours. We take on the role of the victim, believing that our reaction is justified and the universe or external situation is all to blame for our misery.

The way out of this pattern is simple yet extremely difficult. Letting go of attachment to the future, our plans, certainty, control and stability. When we are not attached to an outcome that is at least to some degree, outside of our control, we won’t be disappointed or frustrated when things don’t go as planned. Seems simple enough in theory, but this has been something extremely difficult for me to put into practice. However, in the last two months I have realized two ultimate truths which have helped me to let go of these attachments.

The first is that fear of uncertainty and the unknown is really just a doubt of our own ability to cope with whatever circumstances may arise. As soon as we acknowledge our ability and strength to deal with anything that happens, there is nothing to fear about the unknown. A good way to overcome this fear is to reflect back on times of adversity we have overcome, and accomplishments we have achieved. Looking back on personal growth and difficult times we have faced and survived reminds us what we are capable of.

When I need to remind myself of my inner strength and perseverance I challenge myself to do something outside of my comfort zone, something that scares me. This was my intention when deciding to travel indefinitely just over a year ago. To challenge myself and in doing so, spark growth and strength on a personal level. I was also searching for something I couldn’t quite put my finger on, and something inside me knew I had to get out of my daily life and environment to find it.

The past months have contained experiences which have challenged me to my core. I spent a month of intensive study of yoga, waking up at 5am every day and studying physically and theoretically until 8pm most days, full immersion into a rigorous yogic lifestyle. I immediately followed this with a ten day trek in the Himalayas, walking an average of over 20 km per day and ascending up to 5,400 meters in total. These experiences were physically and emotionally challenging as hell, and showed me that I am capable and can accomplish nearly anything when I decide to (even when it sometimes feels impossible).

Accepting that we are capable, and can cope with any difficulty life throws at us helps us overcome fear of the unknown. But trusting in myself was only half the equation when it came to letting go of my attachment to my plans and expectations.

The second major realization was that sometimes, there is are greater possibilities for our future than we can even see. When we try to impose our version of the story on life, we limit the endless possibilities that could arise. We may miss incredible opportunities by being close minded to our ideas about the future.

For me, this letting go requires believing in something greater than myself. I am not a religious person, and I have never liked the concept of faith. I think letting go of personal responsibility over our life path and our choices can be dangerous. I would never advocate for people to just rely on some greater power to sort everything out, and give up on personal actions. However, I do believe that the universe has the power to align things in our lives that maybe we are too narrow minded to see.

I believe in having goals and dreams and wishes. But I also believe that I often (usually) create a very specific version of these ideas in my mind, I try to control all the details of what these dreams might look like. This creates expectations and the reality almost never looks exactly like what I had imagined. Often it is so much better than I could have dreamed, but sometimes my limited perspective crowds my mind and leaves no space for those beautiful possibilities. Often I fight against the possibilities because I am so attached to my one idea of how things should turn out.

Letting go of the details of our lives, the specific version of the dream we have, and trusting in the power of the universe to bring things together in beautiful ways that we cannot even imagine, frees us from expectations. It frees us from the suffering of not having life align with our rigid perspective. And it opens our experience up to an unlimited range of possibilities.

Even when things seem to be going wrong for us, or the universe seems to be shitting on us, there is almost always a lesson or benefit we can see later with time. We need difficult experiences to grow, and usually we experience negative things because we need to see something differently, or a change that seems awful is making room for something even more incredible to unfold. Opening up to trusting the universe especially when things are going wrong allows me to see more clearly what I can gain and learn in difficult moments. Rather than blaming external factors and having my own negative reaction, I can chose to respond differently, and to be open to the moment as a teaching opportunity.

When it comes to positive experiences, we can miss out on so much potential by creating expectations and becoming attached to them. I have been practicing setting goals, desires and intentions, consciously taking steps towards them, but also releasing my control over the details and the exact outcome. Letting go of attachment and releasing control to the universe. Creating this space has allowed me to be open to so many opportunities that I never could have dreamed of to manifest those desires. In letting go of the details, I allow my trust in the universe to make something beautiful happen. I suffer less because I am never disappointed, but more importantly, the limitless potential I am suddenly presented with is life altering.

Teaching in Thailand

For 5 months, I have been living and teaching in a tiny jungle town in Southern Thailand. In Sawi we have one 7/11, a few places to eat, no bars, and nowhere to go but the weekly market. There are no “farangs” living or visiting here, other than the other 5 teachers in town. Meeting a Thai person with more English than “hello, how are you” is always a shocking experience here. If you want something to eat, you ought to know the Thai words for “chicken”, “pork”, “spicy”, “rice” and “egg” at the very least. The culture here is distinctively Thai and has not been at all diluted by western travelers.

This comes with the generosity and compassion that strangers, shopkeepers, neighbours and colleagues share with us, as I wrote about in a previous post. It also comes with a laid back “mai pen rai” or no problem attitude to almost everything, including last minute requests, schedule changes, forgetfulness, and what we would consider a quite disorganized way of doing things. Thai culture here also means respect.

Teachers here have one of the most respected positions in society, which is evident in the expectations for maintaining decorum outside of school as well as the treatment teachers receive within the community. It’s not uncommon for me to feel like a celebrity in our 7/11, with all eyes on the farang, and staff calling out “teacher! Your coffee!” Letting anyone in town know that you are a teacher is sure to be met with a big smile and maybe even a discount.

The students here also exemplify these elements of compassion and respect in their behaviour. Walking around the school I am greeted with endless calls of “Hello teacher!” and “Good morning teacher!” While they are primary kids, and their attitude in class is sometimes rambunctious or disinterested, they have respect for school and learning.

One of my first lessons for my grade fours and fives was on Thanksgiving. I taught the students about the importance of this holiday as a time for showing gratitude or thankfulness for the good things we have in our lives. Once they got the concept and we got the ball rolling with some brainstorming, they were able to come up with the most wonderful lists of things they were thankful for. These lists always included things like family, friends, health, but then went on to include teacher, school, police, fire-fighters, doctors and nurses, medicine, the King, Thailand, farmers, nature, animals, food and water, the sun and the moon.

Their ability to appreciate and be grateful for the things we all take for granted was apparent with each class I taught this lesson to. Every single class included “teacher” and “school” early on in the list, something I doubt we would see in a Canadian classroom. Sure, they are lazy and tired sometimes, but I see a genuine interest in learning in most of these students.

Despite how sweet and wonderful my students can be, teaching here has not been without it’s difficulties.It’s made me come to appreciate the careers of both my parents so much more, who are both recently retired teachers. Wow, I had no idea what they went through. Teaching may have nice hours, good pay, and good vacation time in most places. But these benefits come at the expense of the most challenging and at times stressful position I have experienced.

Being a primary teacher means you are basically a mix between an entertainer and a babysitter. Lose their attention for a second and you’re done. This is not even taking into consideration that my students don’t understand simple commands in English like “raise your hand to speak” or “answer my question, don’t repeat after me”. Sometimes my classes are a total shit-show. Sometimes halfway through a lesson I accept that they aren’t going to learn anything today.

But sometimes, it goes well. I manage to make them laugh and keep their focus. They grasp a difficult concept or impress me by asking to go to the bathroom in perfect English. A student with behaviour problems actually gets engaged and demonstrates that he’s actually one of the smartest kids in class when he tries. These moments have kept me going. But I have definitely learned that I could not make a career of this. It’s been an experience so much more draining and demanding then I could have imagined. And so much more rewarding than I ever could have known.

Today is my last day at Anuban Sawi School. After this weekend we will be heading off on a new and exciting adventure. Living in Sawi has been so eye-opening in so many ways. It is the first (but I’m sure not the last) home that I’ve ever had outside of Canada. We’ve fallen into a routine and a lifestyle here that is so different than anything we’ve ever known, yet so natural at the same time.

There are so many things I will miss about the lifestyle we have created in Sawi, and so many children at this school who have touched my heart. But it’s time to step into uncharted territory. Our new home is the road.

New year, new you?

I’m one of those people who’s always looking for ways to better myself, so you could say new years resolutions are my bread and butter. However, this year I was careful not to set lofty goals for 2017 and put off my intentions to begin working towards them until after the celebrations had ended. I have this idea that postponing our self improvement goals for January 1st is a kind of procrastination that might carry on to January 2nd and so on… Until our resolutions join the pile of unused gym memberships and other forgotten promises to ourselves to “do better”.

Anyway, this year I had a couple of wake up calls which by happenstance, occurred throughout the month of December, and I decided to start taking action right away. A lot of my realizations came from an experience that I was extremely stressed and frustrated about that ended up being one of the best experiences of my year. If you know me personally, you know that I am a planner. I am always prepared and extremely thorough. This is one of my greatest strengths and also my greatest weakness (as all of strongest characteristics tend to be). Living in Thailand has really challenged this stubborn quality of mine.

For example, here in Thailand, you can plan an itinerary for a trip based on seemingly accurate schedules for transportation (perhaps in order to get to work after a weekend away, or to catch a flight), only to find out “oh, no, the bus doesn’t run anymore” or “that ferry is broken down”. No one seems particularly phased or apologetic about giving you this sort of news, it’s just how it is. One day I received a new teaching schedule at 6:45am that would begin that day at 7:30am, and I was teaching a whole new grade. This is normal in Thailand, and no matter how prepared you’d like to be, there’s absolutely nothing you can do about it. Needless to say, coming to terms with this has been quite the challenge for a control freak like myself.

Last month, a few days before the New Year, I received this sort of unexpected news. My work permit had not been dealt with promptly enough and the employment officer falsely believed that my visa was expired due to a language barrier and a misreading of my documents. This was made more complicated by the fact that my passport had been stolen and replaced earlier in the trip. So one day after I got home from school, my employer asked me if I could leave to Malaysia that night for a new visa. I was so angry. All of this was a misunderstanding and could have been prevented if my work permit had been applied for a month earlier when I received my replacement passport. It would be costly for me not only to travel to Malaysia but to apply for the visa itself. But there was no one to blame besides a language barrier and the lackadaisical Thai attitude towards getting things done. And everyone knows making a fuss is sure to get you nowhere with a non-confrontational Thai. So off to Malaysia I went.

I had a very stressful few hours to put my visa documents together, pack my bag, and find out how to get to Malaysia, while in the back of my mind was money stress, since funds were running low after a holiday-packed December. But this initial anxiety faded as I got on the train and headed off on my solo journey to a new and unknown country. This was the kind of thing that made living abroad so exciting! The reasons for the trip were annoying, sure, but there was nothing I could do about it and I set my mind on enjoying and embracing the experience.

Nothing could have prepared me for the incredible time I was about to have! I had absolutely no expectations of Georgetown, Penang, as I had no time to do any research before going there. It is an incredible city. Definitely worked its way into my top cities in the world over only a couple of days for so many reasons. The first thing I liked about Georgetown was the vibe. Despite being a large city it had this amazing laid back feeling. The second thing I noticed was the mix of culture. I only had to walk a few blocks around to notice the strong influences of Chinese culture, Indian culture, Malaysian culture and British colonial architecture, all blended seamlessly. I walked by a Chinese Buddhist temple and shops full of Chinese people eating noodles, turned a corner and passed a Mosque, and then an Indian market.

As I began researching, I found out the city was also well known for street art, another amazing addition to the atmosphere. I also read that the city had a Botanical Garden and set this at the top of my list. I came to Thailand from a 6 month position as a gardener at the Royal Botanical Gardens back in Canada and I was so excited to see a large scale garden on this side of the world in a tropical climate (plus, the monkeys). I ended up having the most amazing day here and came to the realization that I find being surrounded by nature so healing and rejuvenating!

The last, and possibly best thing about Georgetown was the people. The locals were so genuinely friendly: I met one Malaysian guy who I asked what street food I should try, and within minutes he had gotten his cousin to come over from his bar nearby and he was walking me through the stalls, explaining what everything was, making recommendations, and telling me about his Canadian girlfriend. I received such warm hospitality from everyone from cafe and bar workers to Uber drivers, all trying to help me have the best experience of Penang. They offered everything from advice on what to do, how to get around, and genuinely made an effort to make a friendly connection. This sudden trip to Malaysia ended up being one of the most spontaneous and fun times of the year.

This experience taught me a great lesson: to be open to the unplanned and the unexpected things in life. They just might surprise you. This year I want to be more open to embracing the positive, even if it means letting go of control a little. My other resolutions include practicing gratitude, another important lesson I was reminded of by my trip to Malaysia and the wonderful people I met there. I also want to do a better job at listening to my body, giving it the things that make it feel good and whole, and refraining from the things that make it feel damaged or simply not at its best. This means eating fresh, wholesome, unprocessed foods, moving my body every day, practicing yoga, and taking time to myself to reflect and feel centred and grounded. It also means getting outdoors and breathing in nature as much as humanly possible, the thing that makes me feel most alive.

What are your resolutions, and how do you plan to achieve your goals and better yourself in 2017?

Christmas vibes & Thai generosity

This was my first Christmas abroad, away from my family, and spent in a tropical climate. I thought it would feel so weird to be away from home, but since Thailand is not a country where Christmas is celebrated, it didn’t even really feel like the holidays. In an attempt to create some Christmas spirit, I considered hosting a dinner for the small number of Westerners living in Sawi (now 7 of us in total). However, I haven’t yet experienced the strong sense of community I expected to find among the group of “farangs” I share a village with.

Nonetheless this past weekend was not lacking in the sense of community, generosity, and kindness we associate with the holidays. Thai people seem to embody these values on a daily basis, and while it’s something we experience on a daily basis living here, it was made even more abundantly clear this weekend.

On Christmas Day, Gonzalo and I headed to our favourite place to spend a quiet Sunday afternoon, our secret beach. We call it this because is super remote and hard to find, far from civilization through dirt roads. We had a lovely afternoon in the sun and sea, but as we were leaving, we heard our back tire pop. When it happened Gonzalo was a little worried. We were so far from any repair shop in town, and it wouldn’t be long until it got dark. I instantly knew, however, that we would find someone to help us. The people living in rural Thailand have proven to be some of the most generous and helpful people Ive ever met.

We practically rolled our bike out of the jungle to the first house we could reach, where there was a family hanging around. We pointed at our tire, gesturing that it was flat. The woman who lived there said “ok, ok” and gestured for me to get on the back of her bike. With her two kids riding in the sidecar and Gonzalo following, she headed off down the dirt road.

She dropped us off at another house a few hundred meters away where a young couple rushed over to help us. They immediately asked us to sit down, cleared off two chairs, and began looking at our bike. These two were younger than us and had a small baby, and I’m sure more important things to do on their Sunday evening. But they didn’t even bat an eye and set straight to work. As a team they discovered not one but six holes in our tire tube. This was not going to be fixed with a patch.

When we asked about a new tube the man told us he didn’t have one. Then he quickly added, “ok, I go” and jumped on his bike to drive half an hour to town and buy us a new tube. While we sat waiting, awe struck by his generosity, his wife handed us a cold bottle of water. We were so touched by their kindness!

When the man returned with a new tube and began to install it we finally thought about paying these people, and the small amount of cash we had with us (since there is nothing to buy around this beach, its a deserted paradise). We asked how much with a few of the thai words we know. Our hearts sank when we realized we didn’t have enough baht on us to pay this lovely couple who had been so helpful. Luckily they spoke some English and we explained that 100 baht was all we had, but we would come back tomorrow to pay the rest. The man merely smiled and said “mai pen rai”, which is Thai for “no worries”.

This is just one example of the pure hearted generosity and kindness we receive every day. It serves as a reminder for me to be more kind and caring myself, to offer my time and my help willingly to others. I lose nothing by having a positive attitude and doing something nice for someone, rather than feeling irritated or bothered, or feeling like I’m losing time to spend on more urgent matters when I’m asked for help. Similar to the “Christmas spirit” we feel back home, this Buddhist culture reminds us that we always get so much more from giving then we do from receiving.

Permanently sun-kissed by Thailand and a stick of bamboo 🔆

Moving to Thailand has been my goal for almost three years. There were many practical, logistical, and emotional barriers to overcome in order to make my dream a reality, but I finally made it here. Before I arrived, I had this idea that making it happen was going to be the hardest part. Maybe I was naive, but after over two months of living here, my perspective has shifted drastically. Since I arrived, the struggles have continued, from having my wallet and passport stolen, to supporting my kitty back home who got deathly ill (twice), to the town where I live flooding in a monsoon. It’s been a string of just plain ridiculous bad luck. Up until very recently, it’s been difficult for me to accept these challenges, and to see the positive side of them.

But then I remembered, I did not chose this path because I thought it would be easy! I was looking for a journey that would challenge me to my core – would shake me up and make me question everything. This is how we grow. Well I got the challenge I was hoping for, and more. It’s been tough as hell but now I know for sure that the personal growth I was chasing is shaping me every day. Moving to Thailand was the first step towards living a life that is authentic to what I truly want for myself, but it was far from the only step. I’ve come to realize that personal challenge and growth is a never-ending process that continually evolves with us. There is no single life change or mental shift that will teach you everything you need to learn. Learning is a lifelong affair.

For the last few years, I knew I needed to make a shift in the way I was living my life, that my environment, habits (mental and physical) and my lifestyle in general were just not working for me. Living in a tropical climate has always just felt… right. I consider myself solar-powered because of the extreme effect a lack of sunlight has on my existence, and the way every part of my body feels balanced when I live under the sun. I wanted, no needed, to correct that imbalance. There are so many other reasons I chose Thailand. Adventure, beautiful natural landscapes that inspire me, mountains, the sea, my interest in learning more about Buddhism. But ultimately, I chose Thailand because after visiting here in the spring, I just KNEW I needed to come back. I had this insane drive to finally make my dream happen. This country, it’s culture, it’s beauty, and it’s amazing people just drew me in.

This new art on my body, done in the traditional Thai bamboo style, symbolizes so much to me. Firstly, it’s about living under the sun, where I feel most myself, and staying true to that. But it’s also about staying true to me in every way – living a life that fulfills me, that inspires me, that makes me grow, and always striving to be better. Right now, that means learning to lean into the challenge, to embrace it rather than fighting it, and to remember that challenge was exactly what I was looking for when I chose this path. Marking my body in this way symbolizes honouring my values and beliefs, and shaping my daily existence to actually represent those values on a day-to-day basis. Getting closer to an authentic life is the constant challenge that always keeps us moving forward. ✌🏼️

Hannah

Learning to live slow in Sawi

Once I overcame the initial shock and excitement of my new surroundings, one thing has become clear. I am becoming aware that I don’t know how to just “be”. This has been a subconscious goal for this experience, learning and understanding how to stop and just experience life. I have realized that up until now I have trained myself to maintain a busy existence, thinking that always having things I needed to accomplish was making me happy and fulfilled. Now I am not so sure.

The constant need for feeling a sense of accomplishment and busyness now seems like an attempt to escape. Living in a small rural town in south Thailand, with two weeks left before I begin work, has left me grasping for a to do list. What do I need to accomplish in his time? The truth is I have very few things on that list, with most of my lesson planning done for me, and an inability to get settled and set up my new home until I move in (and who knows when that could be, things happen in ‘Thai time’ here, meaning, they’ll happen whenever they happen). Without many things that need to be accomplished, I find myself trying to create goals for personal improvement, something that reminds me of previous times back home when I have not had a lot on my plate for one reason or another. But all of this is really just a search for busyness.

I thought about getting all my lesson planning done so that I can fill the remainder of my two weeks with plans and busy travelling. But Thailand has other plans for me. At this moment, the town I live in has lost electricity which means I can’t access my power points. I look around the town and think “what is there to do here, what do the locals do with their leisure time or when they are bored?” I’m starting to think boredom is an invention of a society obsessed with busyness and achievement. In a town where not much is going on besides the daily market, I don’t see many people who look bored.

Instead what I see is people who have learned to live life slow. Taking pleasure in small daily activities such as cooking meals, or simply sitting at a restaurant enjoying silence with a friend. I don’t see a fever of activity, or people rushing to fill their so-called leisure time with just as much busyness as their work day, striving to achieve even in free time. I don’t even see a strong division between work and leisure, I simply see a group of people living their lives, just “being”, without the strong feeling of necessity to appear busy or accomplished in every second of the day.

As a Canadian, I feel I have a lot to learn from this way of life. I’m sure when school begins, and with weekend travel plans, things will get busier for me here. But for now, in the next two weeks, I want to practice learning to embrace what we have labelled boredom: a lack of need to get things done, a lack of busyness or plans, and a lack of overstimulating entertainment. I want to try to remember what things I like to do, not because they make me feel accomplished or because they check off an item on my personal improvement to do list, but simply because I enjoy them.